
2005 · drama · comedy · crime
Directed by Peter Segal1h 53m2005
Disgraced pro football quarterback Paul Crewe lands in a Texas federal penitentiary, where manipulative Warden Hazen recruits him to advise the institution's football team of prison guards. Crewe suggests a tune-up game which lands him quarterbacking a crew of inmates in a game against the guards. Aided by incarcerated ex-NFL coach and player Nate Scarborough, Crewe and his team must overcome not only the bloodthirstiness of the opposition, but also the corrupt warden trying to fix the game against them.
Our read: The Longest Yard (2005) reads as a neutral, kinetic, grounded drama · comedy · crime entry — measured in intensity, mid-stakes in scope, measured in temperature, ambivalent in outlook.
Neutral, kinetic, measured drama / comedy, grounded in texture. Ambivalent, mid-stakes, measured.
Everyone on the couch spins once and gets one craft to watch for. After the credits, compare what you caught.
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Everyone on the couch gets one craft to watch for. Spin the wheel to get yours. Sound on: the narrator reads your mission.
Each axis is scored by hand, not from votes or genre averages. The bar uses the film's own colours.
“You want prison-yard underdog football played for big dumb laughs.”
Skip it tonight — Skip if crude Sandler comedy or locker-room humiliation kills the mood.
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